I used to pretend I liked brussel sprouts. As a kid, I'd eat them leaf by leaf, as if I were tossing a tiny salad. The process of dissecting every sprout took a lot longer than it would to actually eat a brussel sprout. That alone should have been a sign that eating brussel sprouts wasn't a priority for me. I couldn't even bear to eat asparagus, so why did I go through the trouble of feigning interest in a vegetable that looks like a cabbage's constipated poops anyway? I like asparagus now but it once tasted to me the way it makes your pee smell. I'd run to the bathroom to spit it out after being force fed (figuratively) it by my awful (love you guys) parents.
Recently, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and there was a special on the menu: caramelized spicy brussel sprouts. It was a dish I had read about, that I have heard people rave about, that my boyfriend wanted to try. Let me end this pointless and anticlimactic story by saying yes, I was underwhelmed. Uninterested even. I tried. Boyfriend was really into them though. This from the person who said the shrimp wonton soup from Noodle Village smelled like cat pee.
I use a lot of potty talk for someone so intent on keeping a food diary. I guess I am leaving you with this: everybody has different taste buds! Now I will end with a cloyingly cute phrase: Everybody has different taste buds. When it comes to brussel sprouts, count me out! I'll eat a chicken heart any day!
End scene.
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